Review: Crazy Six
Blu-ray: Crazy Six (1997)
Rob Lowe and his crew steal a bunch of money from gangster Ice-T. Mario Van Peebles plays another gangster who appears to be using Lowe to rip off Ice-T but then Ice-T appears to be working for Van Peebles. There is some suggestion that Lowe has accidentally stolen some plutonium but that plot point doesn’t go anywhere, then I get confused and do my best to not fall asleep in this woeful crime thriller from 1997.
Crazy Six is directed by Albert Pyun and if you’ve seen any of his movies you know what you’re getting yourself into. Style over substance on a massive scale. Minimal dialogue, loads of slow-mo and fade out shots, extreme close ups, blue and pink neon, lots and lots of blue and pink neon. There is even a female singer smoking a cigarette whilst looking directly at the camera as the story plays out. It feels like an extended music video rather than a movie.
Lets be honest this film is utterly ridiculous. It starts as a crime thriller but then turns into a melodrama about Lowe trying to kick his drug habit. Rob Lowe looks suitably grungy, perhaps doing his best to disguise himself. He is called Crazy Six because he is the sixth child and is a bit crazy. I’m not kidding! Mario Van Peebles walks around with a chihuahua for no apparent reason. Ice-T scowls a lot, naturally. Burt Reynolds phones in his performance playing a cop on their trail. There are a couple of shootouts but I’ve seen more action at a kids party.
It’s hard to imagine what attracted the actors to this movie. It couldn’t have been the script because I’d be surprised if there are 5000 words spoken in the whole film. All I can say is that it must have been a really lean period for all involved for them to agree to star in this. I guess even actors have to eat.
Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike bad movies. In fact I love a lot of movies that would be described as bad, but the worst crime a movie can commit is be boring and it saddens me to say that Crazy Six is incredibly dull.